(New York, NY) Speaking to the United Nations for the first time, U.S. President Donald Trump urged the organization to take on the many challenges facing the world in the trying times. “The way to…
Bike lanes are popping up all over Pittsburgh, and not without controversy, with critics saying it is unrealistic to expect city residents to adapt to a new road system when they are still in the…
Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller made a surprise announcement today that he is voluntarily resigning his position, as he claims the task of building a case for impeachment of the President is too easy. “If you…
Everyone knows hurricanes – like lightening – never strike the same place twice, which is why President Trump says the next big hurricane will drive water into Mexico which will then flow into the United…
(Cupertino, CA) Apple CEO Tim Cook finally managed to surprise Mac aficionados today in a manner to match the late Steve Jobs with the shock release of the iPhoneGR8. Standing just over 7 feet tall,…
A porn video has expressed it’s disgust after learning it had been ‘liked’ on twitter by the account of Texas Senator and fair-weather Canadian Ted Cruz. “So gross. Ew.” The hardcore pornography said it was…
The announcement that Amazon is looking to set up a second 5 billion dollar headquarters has cities all across the United States vying for its attention. But after determining that no domestic major metropolitan area…
(Sarasota, FL) A grateful manatee rescued from a beach where it was stranded by receding waters due to hurricane Irma has said it plans to live life to the fullest from now on after being…
Noting that that the ‘Fake News Media’ is focusing exclusively on the hurricane when discussing the expected damage to the continental United States, President Trump said today that weather the whole year round shares in…
Though the highly-anticipated movie ‘It’ did well this opening weekend due to the huge buzz generated, industry analysts expect it to fare poorly going forward due to word of mouth that ‘It’ is ultimately unfulfilling….
In a day packed with weather news, meteorologists have downgraded the person known as Ann Coulter to subhuman category status. They say this should come as no surprise and follows a fairly consistent trajectory. “Ann…
Speaking from the safety of Washington DC, President Trump has declared that all those affected by hurricane Irma will be made whole again, and without it costing the American taxpayer a dime. “I vow to…
The largest ever gathering of White Supremacists is being held in South Florida this weekend, according to very reliable sources. “All you tiki-torchbearers from Charlottesville, we want to see you there!” It’s been put together…
Despite criticizing the President for spending so much time at his Mar-a-lago resort at the beginning of his term, the American public appears to have abruptly dropped its objections to Trump spending time at his…
Saying he ‘couldn’t go a day without one now’, John Kelly paid tribute to his stress pillow today, which he affectionately calls his ‘howlcatcher’. “This one here is howlcatcher the twelfth, as I’ve already gone…
Large parts of Frankfurt have been evacuated after a huge undetonated World-War-II-era bomb was discovered embedded in the earth during construction work. On learning of the development, President Trump immediately pledged to do all he…
Seeking to show he understands what the Houston flood victims are going through, Pastor Joel Osteen has shared the story of a time he was nearly drowned after cash came in faster than his religious…
