(The White House) The celebrity playing Santa Claus this year has been named as singer, songwriter and perennial goth, Marilyn Manson. Though he never considered taking on the role before, Manson says seeing the White…
President Trump clarified his position on the 2005 Access Hollywood tape today by denying it’s him on tape, or that there was a tape, or a program called Access Hollywood. “You must be thinking of…
Matt Lauer has been let go from the Today Show, after allegations surfaced that he exploited his considerable power at the network to engage in lewd behavior and sexually harass female staff. But some worry…
The mystery of why the White House Christmas décor looks so cold and ominous was answered today with news that a sequel to Stanley Kubrick’s horror masterpiece ‘The Shining’ is set there. “We’ll actually be…
(Montgomery, AL) In what some of his supporters are describing as caving in to political correctness, US Senate Candidate Roy Moore today pledged to only hit on 15-year-olds if elected. Moore said the change was…
(Pittsburgh, PA) In a shockingly sudden collapse, the NFL has come to an abrupt end after a local man, Hazelwood native Doug Bewski, pointed out it served no real purpose any longer. “We were watching…
(Pittsburgh, PA) The opening day of deer hunting season is reportedly being complicated by a rash of suicidal deer who have had enough of life in Western Pennsylvania. Some deer watchers say it’s due to…
As Pittsburghers enjoyed yet another fireworks show today for one reason or another, or perhaps no reason at all, Mayor Peduto announced that the City will be having fireworks round the clock from now on….
The question of whether Donald Trump will be Person of the Year once again has been put to rest after Time Magazine revealed this year’s choice – Nelson from the TV show “The Simpsons” Despite…
News that Michael Flynn is co-operating with the Mueller investigation set the White House aflutter today, and is severely stressing the in-house laundry service. “We’re already understaffed so this is the worst time for a…
Retailers have released the results of research designed to understand how they could motivate shoppers to participate even more strongly in their Black Friday promotions and the answer was clear – provide more opportunities for…
Hot on the heels of its founder being named TIME Person of the Year, disruptive company Tesla has unveiled a brand new Planet Earth that runs on lithium batteries. CEO Elon Musk said this represents…
Controversy surrounds the traditional turkey pardoning this Thanksgiving after President Trump demanded the spared birds, Wishbone and Drumstick, express more gratitude for all he has done for them. The lucky turkeys duly complied, however Wishbone’s…
Word is leaking that National Security Advisor H.R. McMaster has engaged in a despicable smear campaign against the nation’s kindergartners, with the motive behind the attack still anyone’s guess. While dining with Oracle CEO Safra…
The United Kingdom is in shock with the news that Queen Elizabeth II and husband Prince Philip are to separate after being married for seventy years. In a statement released by the Royal Household, the…
At an emergency meeting held in the early hours of this morning, the California Parole Board officially granted Charles Manson granted his freedom after denying him so many times over the years. “We realized he’d…
Following an attempt to oust him by his own party, Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe gave an incoherent televised speech to the nation saying he would not step down. The 93 year-old African dictator says the…
Facing criticism that his budget proposal was a giveaway to the wealthy at the expense of ordinary Americans, President Trump today insisted that those who stood to gain the most were among the poorest private…
Admitting that one of their pilots drew a penis in the sky for a joke, the US Navy has said its best pilot has been ordered to Washington State to turn the offensive sky drawing…
President Trump has announced an end to what he called a bigoted and unfair travel ban against elephants entering the United States put in place by his predecessor. “Obama banned them from entering our great…
