President Trump wasted no time disputing a claim made by Stormy Daniels in a Vogue interview in which she claimed he was bad in bed. “Not true. So not true. Sad!” In the article, when…
(Mountain View, CA) Senior executives at Google have denied allegations made on twitter by President Trump that they are biased against him. “Our rankings are based purely on what people want to find, whether that’s…
As he left Ireland following a two-day visit to the historically uber-Catholic country, Pope Francis asked that he be put through to President Trump despite their previous frosty relationship. “Only 130,000 showed up to mass…
(The White House) Despite being a very busy man, President Trump says he likes to keep up with current affairs even if they do not relate to his role as chief executive. Today was no…
Dramatic developments surrounding the dramatic arrest and indictment of Roger Stone were given their due today by FOX News, which sent their top panda expert to China to report on the event. Alex Rothfuss, DVD,…
Pope Francis responded to the continuing crisis of priest sexual abuse in the Catholic Church today, urging his bishops in the United States to offer their very best thoughts and prayers. “Break out the good…
(The White House) President Trump announced the creation of a new cabinet level position today, that of Feud Czar, which he claims will be critical to maintaining the high standard of feuding his supporters are…
Saying it would be great for budget-minded consumers, Putin said he is in discussions with former White House employee Omarosa about jointly bringing out a special Trump Tape box set in time for Christmas. “I…
When reporters contacted church leaders about the recently released Pennsylvania Grand Jury report into sexual abuse by priests they expected to find them utterly despondent, but the reality today was quite the opposite. “Only 300?…
There’s a new face running through the corridors these days at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, as President Trump finally relented and gave in to a longstanding White House tradition of having a Presidential pet. “He’s already…
Following her admission that she incorrectly stated black unemployment figures, White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders has committed herself to correcting all her other untruths in a 10,000 hour press conference to begin at noon…
President Trump sought today to deflect the growing controversy arising from a tell-all book by former confident Omarosa, in particular the accusation that he used a vile racial epithet. “It’s possible I may have once…
In a double whammy for Catholics in the wake of the Pennsylvania Grand Jury report into priest sexual abuse, God today announced he has finalized the sale of the two-thousand-year-old religion to the Devil. “This…
In great news for fans of quality horror, the classic film “The Omen” is to be remade, with the Antichrist, Stephen Miller, agreeing to play himself for the first time. Though Miller is highly valued…
The White House is reported to be desperately shuffling the calendar today, following President Trump’s mispronouncing of the country Nepal as ‘nipple’ while preparing for talks with the Prime Minister of India. “We need to…
Following the firing of FBI Special Agent Peter Strzok for sending texts that disparaged President Trump, all Federal employees who have been critical of the President or think he’s an idiot have now been let…
The NHL is feeling like the forgotten sport yet again today, after realizing it’s the only professional league not to have been attacked on twitter by the President – whose most recent targets are LeBron…
The Steelers deflategate controversy, in which an underinflated football was used during the preseason match-up with the Eagles, has blown over and is not expected to have any effect on the forthcoming campaign. One person…
With Vice-President Mike Pence set to announce the details of President Trump’s Space Force at the Pentagon tomorrow, military experts expressed concerns that tonight could see a devastating ‘Pearl-Harbor-style’ attack launched upon the Earth. “Now…
(Los Angeles, CA) West Hollywood Council was busy today even after it passed a resolution to permanently remove Donald Trump’s Walk of Fame star. In a separate motion which was easily approved, Walk of Fame…
