Senator Jeff Flake is being hailed as something of a hero for forcing an FBI investigation of Judge Brett Kavanaugh to take place. But, in yet another twist, Senators Grassley, Hatch, and Graham expressed ignorance…
Saying they want to get ahead of any potential accusations of involvement, the makers of the drug Ambien stressed today that their product has nothing to do with Lindsey Graham’s outburst at the Kavanaugh hearings…
Following recent political events, the therapist who has been counseling the United States during its current difficulties has decided there are limits to what can be done to effect a reconciliation. “I know you both…
Following her compelling testimony, many were expecting a defeated Brett Kavanaugh to modify his position in light of Dr. Ford’ assertion she was 100% sure he had assaulted her in high school. But Judge Kavanaugh…
The Senate hearing to determine whether accusations against Judge Brett Kavanaugh are credible got off to a bad start for President Trump’s nominee today when he turned up with a full keg of bear. “Let’s…
Saying he had a feeling this day would come, self-styled neo-Stalinist dictator Kim Jong-un has relinquished his unofficial crown as the world’s craziest leader of a sovereign nation. His decision came after watching a rerun…
At a late night meeting, the all-male Republican contingent of the Senate Judiciary committee that will hear from nominee Brett Kavanaugh and his accuser Dr Ford discussed how they will approach the dramatic hearing. “Obviously…
In the ongoing Kavanaugh controversy, a name that keeps on coming up is that of Mark Judge. Christine Blasey Ford placed Judge, a known close friend of Kavanaugh’s, at the scene of the alleged incident…
Former President Barack Obama said today it was high time he addressed the issue of how he sullied the Presidency by wearing a tan suit when he was in office. “I should have known it…
The White House has confirmed that President Trump issued orders in his role as Commander in Chief of the military to attack all of the countries that laughed at him during his speech to the…
(New York, NY) At least 30 foreign Presidents and Prime Ministers have been hospitalized after falling into uncontrollable fits of laughter at the United Nations building in the city. The incident is being blamed on…
Saying it was now time to put Robert Mueller’s investigation to rest, President Trump today produced a set of calenders proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that he did not collude with Russia in…
No sooner had Republicans in charge of the Senate Judiciary Committee agreed terms to hear from embattled SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh and his accuser, Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, a second accuser from his university days…
Saying he wasn’t happy about it but he’ll go along with the Rooneys’ wishes, Mike Tomlin has agreed to coach tonight’s game against Tampa Bay from an ejector chair on the sidelines. “I guess this…
Though Judge Kavanaugh himself has yet to comment publicly on the matter of the upcoming hearings regarded accusations of sexual assault, his penis said today that it was looking forward to a free and open…
Box office titan and all-around nice guy Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock, has reportedly ruled out running for the White House in 2020, though he has expressed a desire to get into politics and maybe…
Under pressure, Senator Charles Grassley has granted an extension to Brett Kavanaugh accuser, Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, to negotiate the terms of her appearance to discuss her charge that he attempted to rape her in…
Whereas scientists and meteorologists have long warned people of the risk of getting wet during hurricanes and floods, they never before specified the liquid responsible. “Because we didn’t know.” But all that has changed now…
(Wilmington, NC) As if the damage caused by Hurricane Florence wasn’t bad enough, North Carolina was subjected to more misery today as what is being described by meteorologists as a very unpleasant and dangerous formation…
The nation’s leading grocery chains expressed utter confusion today at plummeting sales of mushrooms that are being left to rot on store shelves. “Why does nobody like them anymore?” Though preferences in vegetables are known…
