Russian leader Vladimir Putin is always careful to cultivate his strongman image that plays well in the macho culture in which he operates, but he let the mask slip a little today with the revelation…
The candidacy of Elizabeth Warren is up in the air tonight after authorities arrested and charged the Massachusetts Senator with the savage murder of one John Delaney. “It was horrific.” Authorities are confident they can…
(Pittsburgh, PA) Sadly the annual Three Rivers Regatta has been canceled this year, much to Pittsburgh’s disappointment. Though initial reports claimed it was due to proper permits not being obtained and a failure to meet…
Moscow Mitch! Moscow Mitch! Moscow Mitch! Moscow Mitch! Moscow Mitch! Moscow Mitch! Moscow Mitch! Moscow Mitch! Moscow Mitch! Moscow Mitch! Moscow Mitch! Moscow Mitch! Moscow Mitch! Moscow Mitch! Moscow Mitch! Moscow Mitch! Moscow Mitch! Moscow…
As they enter the second round of primary debates, the Democratic Party has demonstrated its ability to be firm and decisive and ready to assume power from Donald J Trump. “Tonight we have the second…
Speaking at a news conference on Capitol Hill today, senior members of the GOP cautioned against a rush to debate gun control in the aftermath of recent events. “The period right after this tragic shooting…
(Palm Beach, FL) Having learned about their existence through the news, the rat population at the Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida today extended an invitation to their Baltimore relatives to come to visit before the brutal…
(Bordeaux, France) Owners of France’s most famous vineyards are meeting tonight to decide what action they can take if any to mitigate the collapse in the industry after world-renowned wine expert Donald J Trump criticized…
As the full extent of the college bribery scandal becomes clear – in which the rich and famous paid to have their milquetoast progeny mis-represented as little Einsteins and accomplished athletes – many are feeling…
(The White House) Sensing he didn’t handle his meeting with Nobel Lauteate Nadia Murad as well as he could have, President Trump today attempted to make amends. “She seemed unhappy with what I said about…
A local cat who had hope to publish a theory of the gravitational force was dismayed to discover it had been beaten to it by a human, Isaac Newton, who published his nearly identical theory…
Declaring it a blatant attempt to undermine his Presidency, President Trump has accused former President Barack Obama of failing to oil a hinge on a door to the Oval Office, which has now started squeaking….
Saying he couldn’t allow the rogue nation of Nambia to acquire advanced covfefe-based weapons, President Trump today announced an elite force of Infantroopen has parachuted into the remote country to destroy its covfefe-enriching capability. “They…
(Latrobe, PA) Pittsburgh Steeler JuJu Smith-Schuster has proved yet again he knows how to turn Pittsburgh upside-down after pulling off an amazing stunt on the first day of training camp by arriving in a sensible…
Following a speech in which a parody of the US Presidential Seal depicting a Russian double-headed eagle and golf clubs was projected behind him, President Trump has said he’s not too bothered. “A seal was…
(Picklesburgh, PA) The City of Pittsburgh is no more today after a resolution passed changing its name to honor a beloved method of preserving foodstuffs. “Welcome to Picklesburgh, PA, n’at.” Mayor Peduto said it was…
Political observers are taking note of a statement issued by Ivanka Trump on twitter in which she congratulates Boris Johnson for becoming Prime Minister of the United Kingston. “Clearly she has ambitions to succeed her…
People are flocking in droves to see The Lion King in cinemas, though many audience members are complaining about the ending in which Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. brutally kill Simba on a hunting…
Woke cats across the United States are hissing in anger today following the release of a trailer for a movie by starring Taylor Swift and a host of other well-known humans. “Idris Elba, how could…
President Trump took the opportunity during a celebration of the 50th anniversary of the first Moon landing to interrogate a NASA official regarding sending a human to Mars. “Why can’t we just teleport straight there…
