Senior GOP members demanded today that Democrats join them in creating a bipartisan Congressional commission to investigate alleged chewing on a White House sofa by President Biden’s dogs, Champ and Major. “This blatant assault in…
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(Azure Sector, Beta Quadrant) Representatives of the Romulan Empire confessed today to sharing their cloaking technology with the Black Lives Matter movement in advance of the Capitol Riot on January 6th following relentless insistence by…
After a rocky opening to President Donald Trump’s second Senate trial, his legal team has explained the reason why their opening was rambling and devoid of any hint of a meaningful defense. “We would have…
The United States of America is said to be cautiously optimistic today just weeks after breaking with tradition by installing a leader who can both read and write. Political observers said it was a bold…
In Underworld news, Satan has announced he will not be fomenting evil in the hearts and minds of living souls for the next 14 days as he will be self-isolating out of an ‘abundance of…
(The White House) As he started work in the Oval Office on his very first day as President, Joe Biden said he was pleasantly surprised to find something there waiting for him. Though Former President…
President Biden today revealed he has succeeded in achieving a massive accomplishment after completely eradicating a deadly cancer that was plaguing the United States. “President Trump repeatedly warned us about the terrible scourge of windmill…
(The White House) In apparent recognition of the imminent reality that his term of office is coming to an end, President Trump has authorized an official statement confirming that his last full day of not…
As the true extent of Wednesday’s events sink in – during which the US Capitol was forcefully taken over in order to successfully interrupt one of the most important functions of government – people are…
(Atlanta, GA) Following their narrow but conclusive defeats by their Democratic challengers, Republican Senators for Georgia Kelly Loeffler and David Perdue today formally initiated the process of contesting the results by researching local landscaping companies…
President-elect Biden received high praise today for his comprehensive plan to disinfect the White House, with many commending his team on developing such a well-thought-out plan so quickly. However Biden, who is known to be…
(The White House) In a little-noticed ceremony today, President Trump presented the Medal of Freedom to Melissa Carone, having previous granted the honorific to Representative David Nunes for his exemplary record in service to the…
President-elect Joe Biden announced another cabinet-level nomination today, that of actor Tom Cruise to the newly created post of COVID-19 Guidelines Enforcement Czar. “With Tom’s help and extreme passion, we are going to kick this…
Following the revelation by President Trump that Rudy Giuliani has tested positive for COVID-19, the former mayor of New York City is refusing to concede to the pandemic virus and has vowed to overturn the…
(Burlington, VT) The Emily Post Institute today singled out the White House and the Trump administration for praise, saying its renewed commitment to politeness is most welcome. People visiting and working in the White House…
Disease modelers today warned courts in the United States are facing an acute danger of being overrun by a rash of meritless filings and lawsuits that could overwhelm the system within days, according to the…
(The White House) A planned trip by President Trump to Gettysburg has been cancelled, after he was incensed to learn he wouldn’t be the first President to give a rousing speech there. Trump took to twitter…
A shocking audio tape of a conversation between President-elect Biden and former TV host Billy Bush has been leaked. The tape, reported made shortly after the Associated Press called the 2020 election for Biden, contains…
Though most attention has focused on whether President Trump will leave the White House given his refusal to concede the election, sources connected with President-elect Biden’s transition team say it is actually senior Trump advisor…
(Washington, DC) The world record for the biggest ever gathering of losers was shattered today after a huge organizational effort paid off in the nation’s capital. Officials from the Guinness Book of Records observing the…
