Bernie Sanders today tried to explain why he is suddenly a millionaire to his many youthful supporters, many of whom he blames for the development. “Everything I own seems to have miraculously increased in value!”…
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Local man Derrik Willis surprised his friends today by revealing the shocking costume he plans to wear for Halloween. “I’m calling it clean-shaven guy in jeans and a shirt.” Derrik says dismissed the idea at…
A millennial Catholic is warning others to be careful where they get their ashes done after being woefully underwhelmed with the cross she received today at the Sacred Heart of the Most Blessed Mary of…
The Amazon takeover of Whole Foods was said to be a win-win for everybody, but already Jeff Bezos’s vision of cheaper food for woke people is causing problems. With prices on hipster favorites down by…
Distressed hipster communities across the country have been urging the President to take the latest belligerent noises out of North Korea seriously. “We can’t afford to lose Guac – what would I put on my…
Pittsburgh awoke to find itself in the national spotlight as the neighborhood of Lawrenceville, comprising much of the city’s ninth and tenth wards, unilaterally declared independence from the rest of the city, and indeed the…
A recently launched GoFundMe campaign has been trending due to its focus on helping a young person suffering from a terrible affliction. In the campaign, described as a Spiritual Journey and Travel Fund, a twenty-something…
Former Lawrenceville resident Erik Dubois has always considered himself to have a conscientious disposition from the early age. Long a full vegan, he remembers a time when he could still get food from Trader Joes….
The rust belt city that is synonymous with reinvention, Pittsburgh, is about to embark on the final step in moving beyond its outdated image as a smog ridden industrial relic – by changing its name….
Pittsburgh has been buzzing with talk of not one but two Cat Cafes – the Black Cat Market and the Colony Café. But both have been upstaged in the live-animal-themed cafe business by Lawrenceville resident…
[Warwick University, Coventry] In response to the growing veganism movement, food scientists in the UK have created the first fully functional chicken made entirely out of plant materials in what is being heralded as an…
(Pittsburgh, PA) History is being made in a community center in the East End of the City where the first chapter of Hipsters Anonymous (HA) is holding meetings to help those hopelessly addicted to the…
Donald Trump has wasted no time coming up with a response to increased concerns about terrorist threats by spending no time on it whatsoever. Instead, he claims, the answer came to him instantaneously, as his…
A new scientific study by the people who proved that gluten sensitivity is a definitely a thing has proved that gluten sensitivity is definitely not a thing. “We did it properly this time and everything…
While vinyl has long been one of the key identifying markers of the hipster, its increasing popularity, especially amongst non-hipster types, has rendered it toxic to anyone who takes being out of the mainstream seriously….
First it was vinyl that came back from the dead after seemingly disappearing for good, and now it’s television’s turn to have one of it’s former technologies find a whole new lease on life. Cathode ray…
The Obama administration has put forward a surprise resolution to raise funds to improve the nation’s dilapidated infrastructure though the imposition of a ‘Beard Tax’ on citizens of voting age with substantial facial hair. Initially…
