(Foxborough, PA) Though off to a great start in football terms, New York Patriots owner Robert Kraft today revealed the situation in the backroom and down in Florida is dire. “Just like with the Steelers…
Ben Roethlisberger has announced he is considering retirement from the NFL. Though he initially cited age and his elbow injury as factors, the two-time Super Bowl champion later admitted the real reason was his impatience…
NFL Wide Receiver Antonio Brown has announced his retirement from the league, saying he will no longer not turn up to play. “The days of this dog refusing to report for practice and failing to…
Award-winning wide receiver Antonio Brown is said to be off to a great start with his new team the New England Patriots, after word leaked that coach Bill Belichick has already kick the holy crap…
(Latrobe, PA) Pittsburgh Steeler JuJu Smith-Schuster has proved yet again he knows how to turn Pittsburgh upside-down after pulling off an amazing stunt on the first day of training camp by arriving in a sensible…
Sports apparel manufacturer Nike has announced it will no longer manufacturer nor sell white sneakers. It has also initiated a generous buy back program to get rid of those already out there. The move follows…
(Paris, France) Following her team’s victory over France in the World Cup Quarter-Finals, US Soccer Captain Megan Rapinoe has made a surprise announcement regarding her feud with President Trump. “Fuck it – instead of complaining…
Though some were skeptical at first, the owners of the 30 NBA franchises today reported their change of title to Team Governor is already yielding huge benefits. “I feel so less racist!” They also report…
A delegation of penguins has officially requested that Pittsburgh’s NHL team change its name following a playoff loss in straight games to the New York Islanders. “You’ve been the penguins for so long. Maybe it’s…
Saying his heart was with the Fighting Irish, President Trump has demanded an immediate investigation in how one of the nation’s finest college football programs could have burned to the ground. “I have put everything…
As home opening day arrives for the Pittsburgh Pirates, they look to be in great shape to provide us with an entertaining, and hopefully winning, season. But, unknown until now, a dark cloud had been…
Following the backlash over cutting funding for the Special Olympics, Education Secretary Betsy DeVos spoke up today to say it was being done for the best of reasons. “These special olympians have to understand that…
(Oakland, CA) Saying he has done everything right while they have done everything wrong, Pro Bowl receiver Antonio Brown confirmed today that he is looking to be cut by the LA Raiders, so he can…
Pittsburgh is still getting used to the shocking news that Antonio Brown is now an LA Raider, which, combined with the departure of Le’Veon Bell, has fans fearing for the future. “Where’s our drama going…
Former Steeler Antonio Brown, who has signed with the Raiders, took time today to express his cherished feelings towards his former organization. “I will not deny that I feel sad knowing I won’t get to…
The Pittsburgh Penguins have announced their development plans for the site of the old Civic Arena in the Lower Hill. “We’re going to build a full-size replica of the Civic Arena.” The decision was based…
Superbowl Champs the New England Patriots have become engulfed by yet another scandal involving deflating balls, with owner Robert Kraft said to be the main culprit this time. Previously, star quarterback Tom Brady was accused…
In a stoke of tragic irony, now former Steelers running back Le’Veon Bell broke both of his legs today celebrating the decision not to slap a franchise tag on him for a second year. “Free…
Quick on the heels of signing Kareem Hunt the Cleveland Browns have announced the signing of legendary running back O. J. Simpson, saying he possesses the qualities they are after in abundance. “He may be…
Citing egregious and unabashed discrimination of the worst kind, Janet Jackson’s nipple filed suit today seeking tens of millions of dollars in damages from broadcaster CBS and the National Football League. The action was triggered…
