(Atlanta, GA) The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a special call to the nation’s crazy uncles to do their bit to help prevent the spread of COVID-19 this holiday season.
“We strongly encourage you not to attend family gatherings in person, but to blow up at your relatives for no good reason using Zoom or Skype instead.”
Health officials stressed they know how important delivering angry tirades to relatives is for the crazy uncle population, who often spend the rest of the year in total isolation other than yelling at random strangers.
“This is their day to shine – we simply ask that they guilt their family into have a zoom call instead, get blind drunk on cheap wine and then dissect every other person’s supposed flaws one by one before falling asleep on the keyboard.”
If they do end up attending a gathering at someone else’s house, crazy uncles are urged to maintain a large physical separation from others.
“You’ll find everyone will make that quite easy for you, especially the kids.”