The Democratic electoral field got even more crowded today as Everybody’s Dog announced it has decided to contest the party’s 2020 nomination. Speaking with reporters it said the way it came to a decision was unusual.
“I kept hearing that I was already running, and eventually I thought why not?”
Everybody’s Dog has a number of advantages that it believes will help it prevail in the primaries, such as it’s relative youth.
“I’m 9 in dog years which if you do the math makes me younger than most of the fossils that are running.”
It also does not seen Beto O’Rourke as a threat, whom it plans to dispense with using its quick-fire wit.
“In terms of experience I have more than Beto O’ Rourke, which is to say I have some experience. Burrrrrrnnnnn!”
When asked if it thought it could handle the President’s vulgar campaigning style were it to win the nomination, Everybody’s Dog said that is where it would shine.
“I’m up for playing rough with Trump. But I won’t pee on his leg, because he’d probably enjoy it.”