Managers of local Giant Eagle and Market District stores expressed surprised and confusion today at the lack of panic buyers stripping their store shelves of milk, bread, toilet paper, and cheap light beer.
“Are we not in Pittsburgh?”
They cite recent panic buys during the lightest of flurries as evidence Pittsburghers love nothing better than a mad unnecessary dash to the store to fill up the car with non-essential essentials. Yet at a time when individual Australians are buying enough toilet paper to sustain an army, they are seeing nothing out of the ordinary.
“Panic buying may still be an over-reaction, but with the coronavirus threat it’s not a completely insane response, so what gives?”
Psychologists speculate that, given the overall seriousness of the situation, area residents are behaving responsibly and not over-stressing supply chains unnecessairily or buying up masks that would be better used by healthcare workers and vulnerable populations.
“We never thought we’d see the day!”