After being touted as the answer to containing the spread of coronavirus in the United States, heavy metal band Elements Of Medical today informed President Trump via twitter that it was unable to be of much use.
“We’re flattered you’d think of us, but our medical knowledge is mostly limited to treating the bumps and scrapes we get on stage.”
Lead singer Tissue Fissure said the band was willing to do anything it could to help, but he was certain medical professionals and the healthcare industry would be much better suited to address the issue.
“We were quite surprised when Trump said we were the solution to the problem.”
That being said, the band indicated it would be happy to entertain quarantined Americans by exposing them to an aggressive wall of sound.
“You don’t need to provide us with hazmat suits and gas masks as we already wear them as part of our act.”