(Battle Creek, MI) The Kellogg Company [MYSE: K] announced today that Corn Flakes are being permanently discontinued after company management became unsatisfied with how the product was performing.
“We tried to work with Corn Flakes but decided it was too much trouble and so we are starting afresh with a new offering called SCABS.”
Though still a corn-based cereal, SCABS has little in common with the iconic staple is replacing, right down to its appearance.
“Kids are going to love the intricate shape SCABS comes in, which is best described as a short-footed bent cross with a chiral symmetry.”
Early reviews on how SCABS compares to Corn Flakes suggest the company may have made a grave mistake, however.
“Unlike Corn Flakes this new cereal leaves a bitter taste in your mouth that lingers long after breakfast.”
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