Voicing his ‘grave concerns’ about the coronavirus stimulus package, professional government freeloader Lindsey Graham warned today that it could incentivize some Americans to freeload off its emergency unemployment benefit provisions.

“I know all about freeloading off the US Government and it’s great, which is why we must not incentivize others to do the same.”

Though the proposed benefits are valid and necessary for almost all workers and will only last long enough to mitigate the crisis, Graham warns that once people get a taste for it, they will seek out government freebies whenever and wherever they can.

“Just look at me – I freeloaded off the military, my state, and now the federal government for decades.”

Much like when he worked so hard to deny healthcare to millions of Americans lest they discover what a wonderful thing it is to have, Graham warns that anything that benefits the masses would be a disaster.

“As someone who has a great deal of experience in this kind of thing, I can assure you that having lifelong financial stability off the backs of hardworking taxpayers is dangerously addictive.”

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