After decades of seemingly intractable conflict, the Middle East has reached a comprehensive peace settlement almost overnight. The historic achievement was reached after leaders there realized President Trump’s proposed peace plan for the region would involved the return of Jared Kushner.
“It was just the incentive we needed.”
Hardened Palestinian fighters and members of the Israeli Defence Forces put aside their differences and focused instead on what they could agree on.
“Namely that seeing Jared Kushner in a flak jacket is something none of us ever want to witness again.”
Both Palestinian and Israeli leaders said the status of the occupied terrorities could be worked out amicably, now they have some perspective on the issue.
“The important thing right now that all sides agree on is to keep the West Bank a Kushner-free zone at all costs.”
The surprise development has career diplomats at the State Department wondering what other conflicts Trump could solve at a stroke by simply proposing to send Kushner to mediate.
“We’re looking at you, India and Pakistan Kashmir dispute.”
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