Mike Pence Begs God’s Forgiveness For Being Alone With Jared Kushner

Vice President Mike Pence is reportedly inconsolable after learning that Jared Kushner – someone he has been alone with including in the tight confines of an elevator – has been registered for voting purposes as a woman.

“I have sinned, oh Lord. Canst thou ever forgive me?”

Despite being assured that it was an administrative error, Pence says even that is enough to qualify as a huge transgression. Most distressing is the fact that Pence was often alone with Kushner and his wife, Ivanka Trump, something he can’t bear to think of now.

“A threesome with a blonde and a brunette! May the Almighty smite me right here right now.”

Though he studiously avoiding lunching alone with women as that would inevitably lead to sin, Pence cannot remember for sure whether he ever broke bread with Kushner. He says the worst part is how it is affecting his relationship with his wife.

“How can I look Mother in the face after this vile betrayal.”

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3 Comments on "Mike Pence Begs God’s Forgiveness For Being Alone With Jared Kushner"

  1. He is a closet Queen just like Jared, the Orange Clown and Putin

  2. Personally I find it very Strange when married men refer to their wife as ‘mother’. The rest is satire, but that is very likely what he calls her.

  3. Unbelievably stupid ! And he’s your Vice President ? Poor people of America…Trump, Spence, McConnell and company…you have all been Royally Had !

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