In great news for the fight against COVID, the United States has now reached full herd immunity after previously struggling to get a sizable vocal minority vaccinated. The move came after Dr. Fauci made an abrupt about-face and instructed those who have resisted getting vaccinated to date to continue not to do so under any circumstances.
“I know there’s been some confusion so let me make this very clear to you. I order you not to get vaccinated. This is Dr. Anthony Fauci telling you what to do.”
Vaccination sites in red states that had been letting doses go to waste reported an overnight influx of Americans insisting that they get to exercise their God-given right as patriots to be vaccinated.
“Nobody gets to take my guns or my jab away from me!”
Next, the CDC is planning to revise its mask order yet again to state that they are being banned and it will be a offense to wear one in any public or private space, according to director Rochelle P. Walensky, MD, MPH.
“Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Senator Bernie Sanders will be teaming up with the Biden White House to help get the message out that mask wearing is now prohibited.”