An emergency meeting of the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) has provisionally agreed on a plan to deal with the stark collapse in oil prices, which has led to oil futures contracts entering negative territory for the first time. Citing global circumstances due to the coronavirus, the 13-member consortium has decided on a new direction to maintain GDP.

“The way forward is clearly homemade baked goods.”

The meeting got off to a rocky start, however, with Saudi Arabia and Russia failing to agree to limits on production of macarons and ladylocks.

“Without an agreement, a price war is inevitable.”

Meanwhile Libya is exploring alternative paths to generate revenue by staying in the liquid resource sector.

“Fortunately it is a hot day, so we expect great things from the lemonade stand we have set up in the lobby.”