After he forced the reading out loud of the 628-page Senate coronavirus relief bill on the floor, fellow Senators got their revenge on Ron Johnson today when he asked for the restroom key. They objected to allowing Johnson to move straight to the urination process, insisting instead that Senate clerks take turns to read the complete US Sanitation code out loud first.
“Don’t worry – it will only take a few hours.”
Despite the Wisconsin Senator’s insistence that he really needed to go ‘right now’, Majority Leader Charles Schumer said procedure had to be followed and a full reading of the code was in order.
“We’d hate for you to relieve yourself without a complete understanding of everything in the US sanitation code.”
The move to have a full reading of the code received strong bipartisan support, with all Democrats and a significant number of Republicans moving to have Johnson hold it and listen to the code before being granted restroom access. In order to make the reading more pleasant, Senator Bernie Sanders played some ambient background music through his smartphone.
“It’s a lovely Brian Eno track that sounds like a trickling waterfall.”
All involved rejected accusations that this was revenge for Johnson engaging in a pointless delay tactic that gave the clerks sore throats, with Schumer explaining it was to ensure Senator Johnson knew exactly what issues he could face as he relieved himself.
“We only want the best for Ron and his bladder.”
WE DEPEND ON YOU TO KEEP GOING!
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Absolutely unbelievable are they all in Kindergarten and this is what we’re paying are Government to do no wonder the US is going to hell in a hand basket
I think that’s just revenge by the sad left. Why should they pass a bill to find out what’s in it. Why don’t you people sign and give me a blank check? You can find out how much I made it out for when you look at your statement!
Let’s be Pelosi “We have to pass the bill to find out what’s in it”
I’m sorry this is satire and not true. It would be a perfect punishment to Ron Johnson for being such a pissant!
What’s good for the goose …
Sooo disappointing it was only satire!
can you set-up the comments section so that you have to check a pop-up box that says “I recognize this is satire and willingly accept any scorn heaped upon me if I post any critical comments that even remotely suggest I believe the satirical material is genuine” before you can click the [Post Comment] button?
’cause that would go a long way to mitigating the stupid on display here.
Evidently you people do not know that this site is Satirical.
Look up the definition if you know how to use a Dictionary
This is satire. It says it’s satire. It did not happen. But could have been considered if to prevent trouble we have to read all of the small print. I’m especially intrigue by those who consider media liars and spreaders of mistruth, but can’t read the source before they start spreading it.
I would never have believed that any member of the Senate would even consider a practical joke. The Democratic membership has reduced to extreme childishness behavior. Some of the people say it is satire. Are we paying these idiots to play . Play on your time Schumer.
The satire commentary is from BREAKING BURGH, you idiot. Man, quixotes sure are stupid.
Congress has ceased to function as part of our government. We should throw them all out next election and start over.
So, you were at the Capitol on January 6th. How does failure taste? Bwhahahaha!
It was satire! It didn’t actually happen! Stop believing everything you read, hear… that’s kinda your problem. That & spelling.
This is what the DAMOCRATICS CALL UNITY!!!!!!
They PLAY CHILDISH GAMES, instead of taking their JOBS seriously, & SERVING THE AMERICAN CITIZENS , who they all forget are their employers. They ALL feel that they are ANOINTED INTO THE SENATE SEATS. FORGETTING THEY ARE ELECTED TO REPRESENT US & GET THE IMPORTANT BUSINESS FHOR THE BETTERMENT OF OUR COUNTY DONE!!!
SATIRE!
Don’t be gullible
Hwy, stupid…this did not happen. BREAKING BURGH is a satirical site. Oh, you don’t know what satire is? I guess I have to make things real simple for you: SATIRE IS HUMOR BASED ON REAL EVENTS. This JOKE is based on RonAnon’s childish demand that the bill be read out loud on the Floor. You people are such fucking idiots, I can’t believe you’re capable of sustaining your own life.
Did that screaming feel good? Please send that $1,400 back to Treasury with a thank you note to President Biden telling him to put it towards the betterment of our country.
Hey DUMMIE, Q called, said that the new date for Donnie’s inauguration for his 2nd term is April 4th, so clean your barrel and keep your powder dry and be ready to assault the White House on that day for sure, there will not be a 2nd warning, just make sure you go there and bring all your insurrectionist paraphenalia and attack, Donnie and the rest of the crew will be right behind you, even if you can’t see them. Oh, by the way are you sure you’re an American? How old are you? Cause you sure got problems with English grammar. Maybe you can enroll in adult English as a Second Language class they have for immigrants. Not to be funny now but I know several immigrants, including a couple of undocumented that leave your language skills behind. I bet you could not pass the English language test for Citizenship. What a sad state of affairs that actual ignorant ITS like you can actually vote and screw my country up like you do.
They ask for comments. Then use their BULLS—T CENSORSHIP TO DENIE, you access when they don’t like what a CITIZEN & VETERAN has to say.
Let’s see if they allow this. I doubt it!
They can’t handle the TRUTH!
It’s not in their TALKING POINTS.
SMH. Unhinged
WTF are you claiming?
I hope anyone who has a problem with this bill and dose receive a check from the government will return it so it can go to someone who needs and appreciate it.
Amen!
This was satire folks!! 😉 No one made Ron Johnson sit through the reading of the Sanitation Code ~ although it would serve him right 😉
Lol excellent job
Loved it they should have read very slow.
Love it, back at him.
A prime example of just how worthless politicians are.
Ever heard of SATIRE?
How stupid of the Idiots the dumb Ass Democrats could think of a stupid idea like that !!!! stupid SHUMER and PELOSI !!!!!😆😆😆😆
SATIRE!
Don’t be gullible. You believe everything you read?
How stupid of you and your dumb Ass Co-Conspirators to actually believe this shit is true.
This is a joke to make fun of Sen. RonAnon Johnson, who actually DID force the entire reading of the COVID relief bill on the Senate floor. You can thank him for delaying the next phase of our recovery.
To be perfectly clear, once and for all,
NO ONE MADE RONANON WAIT TO PULL OUT HIS TINY LIMP DICK AND TAKE A PISS. EVEN THOUGH HE PISSES ON AMERICA DAILY!
Ron Johnson is unsuitable to hold any office.Trump would be happy to let him pee on him and his family
He’s the one that made the motion, he should of brought a piss jug with him.
I think if this bill was truly about Covid he would not ask for it to be read. Reading the bill will hold all of them accountable for waisting our money and again lying to the American people about all they cheat us out of.
They should of just handed him a cup. And make him sit through all 12 hrs
I laughed. It’s definitely funny.
This is so childish I’m actually ashamed for our country!!! Do they understand that adults all over are laughing, not with them but at them!! Also how they made a fool of themselves to other countries???? This is our politicians, God save us from these ridiculous idiots that have an IQ of a kindergarten child!!!!
How much did Americans pay for him to be bullied for hours. This is so juvenile. Put adults in charge instead of senile old people.
SATIRE!
Childish readers
Time for patriot party to take over
Great idea to put the squeeze on the whining foot draggers. Who caused a long petty delay on voting on covid relief.
That is quite juvenile behavior and I’m appalled at grown men “getting revenge” when we all know Dems like to stuff Bills full of nonsensical, outrageous add ons that usually award billions of dollars to other countries and/or take our rights away. Proud to be an American- not with that BS in our government
SATIRE!
Juvenile reader
Republicans tripped over themselves to give obscene tax cots to the rich and corporations. Republicans passed and Trump signed $2.9 Trillion in relief that was abused by Trump and Republicans. RepublicNs only oppose spending that helps ordinary Americans.
Hope he peed in his pants.
How petty!
I just wish the Sanitation Code were twice as long!!!