Peduto Takes Unusual Step Of Conceding Race Instead Of Calling It Stolen And Erecting Gallows To Hang City Council

(Pittsburgh, PA) In a major upset, the Democratic primary election for mayor of Pittsburgh has been won by Ed Gainey, who defeated the incumbent, Bill Peduto. With no Republican having won since 1934 it effectively means Gainey will be the new mayor. In a further surprise move, Peduto chose to graciously concede the race once it became clear he had lost in a bold departure from what is expected in politics these days.

“Clearly the American thing to do would have been to declare the election a Big Lie and have his supporters erect a gallows in front of the City-County Building,”

Peduto also chose not to file numerous frivolous lawsuits contesting the result – nor has he, as far as is known, tried to blame the result on malfeasance committed by a deceased Venezuelan autocrat.

“Who doesn’t play the Venezuela card when they lose an election?”

Peduto is also expected to not encourage his supporters to still consider him the true Mayor, which has many of them concerned for his well-being.

“I just hope he’s okay given all this strange behavior.”

Media watchers say that, puzzling though Peduto’s actions are, it’s possible he might be on to something.

“It’s unclear where he came up with all this but it could definitely catch on.”

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