(The Kremlin, Russian Federation) With his military struggling on the ground in Ukraine, Russian President Vladimir Putin today praised the performance of the troops fighting the strongest to ensure he prevails. Putin made special mention of one of his most dedicated specialist units, the 1st Republican Propaganda Division, currently engaged in battle in North America.

“This fine fighting force has, together with my close ally Fox News, launched a superb frontal assault against the coalition of western democracies that oppose our actions.”

Though he was not able to mention everyone by name, he wished all his troops in the 1st Republican Propaganda Division – or GOP as it is locally known – the best and added that he had the upmost faith they would continue to spread lies and undermine his great ideological foe, the government of the United States and its NATO allies.

“If only my combat troops were as dedicated to squeezing the life out of democracy as people like Tucker Carlson, Lauren Boebert, Kevin McCarthy, and “Moscow’ Mitch McConnell this would all be over very quickly!”