Having completed its review and concluded that its current name is not appropriate, the Washington Redskins will change its name to the Washington Lobbyists.
“Just as Pittsburgh has its beloved Steeler Nation, we now have Lobbyist Nation to be proud of.”
In addition to the name and logo change, the Lobbyists will also change their approach to the game in line with their new image.
“We plan to pay huge sums of money to members of opposing teams so that crucial games are thrown to us. Lombardi Trophy here we come!”
Representatives of the DC area NFL franchise said there will be changes both on and off the field to reflect the true nature of the city it represents.
“The price of tickets will increase 500%, unless you roomed with the right person at Harvard, in which case they are free and you’ll also get a salaried position on the coaching team.”
HELP KEEP THE SATIRE COMING!