(Azure Sector, Beta Quadrant) Representatives of the Romulan Empire confessed today to sharing their cloaking technology with the Black Lives Matter movement in advance of the Capitol Riot on January 6th following relentless insistence by supporters of former President Trump that they were not the ones who led a violent insurrection on that day. The Romulans admitted to their involvement as they knew all the evidence pointed to use of their invisibility device as the only logical explanation.
“The mystery of how ANTIFA and Black Lives Matter could have instigated this treasonous act against the United States despite there only appearing to be diehard Trump supporters present has been solved.”
By granting access to the carefully guarded secret technology, BLM activists were able to lead the riot from the front despite being undetectable by any and all methods known to terrestrial 21st century science.
“You would not have been able to see, feel, nor hear them . It would have been like they weren’t there at all as they lead those rabid Trump supporters into the Speaker’s Lobby.”
So advanced is their cloaking technology, that it would be impossible for anyone to know BLM was leading the insurrection without the keen insight of right wing commentators who knew something was up.
“Finally the truth is out that Ashli Babbitt did not in fact lunge through that opening of her own volition, but was pushed by a group of completely invisible ANTIFA activists.”