President Trump faced accusations today of egregious abuse of his clemency powers today, that allow him to spare select poultry from being served at the dinner table. Though US Presidents normally pardon two lucky turkeys in the run up to Thanksgiving, Trump has continued to pardon turkeys well into December, with no end in sight. Protocol experts say this represents a clear violation of established norms.
“The Framers never intended for this many turkeys to avoid their fate.”
Furthermore, Trump’s critics say the turkeys he is now granting clemency appear to be of increasingly questionable character.
“Unlike Corn & Cob, who are fine upstanding examples of poultry, the turkeys he’s pardoning now are devoid of morals and empathy.”
Fortunately, the rash of blatantly improper turkey pardoning is set to end soon.
“I can’t see President Biden doing anything other than pardoning a maximum two turkeys while making terrible puns. Which is as it should be.”