Emboldened by his Supreme Court appointments and acquittal in the Senate on impeachment charges, President Trump has denounced what he described as an outdated boring Constitution that is holding the country back.

“We need a Constitution that is prepared to go off-script.”

Other aspects of the Constitution that Trump objected to are its use of the same words every time, and the fact that it is written down. He pointed to his own perfect speeches as a prime example of the benefits of not having things spelled out in detail on paper.

“I don’t write things down. I don’t write period. Or read!”

Asked how such an off script Constution would work, Trump said he had already thought this through.

“I am fully prepared to improvise one as I go along.”

He plans to start with the sections that guarantee the independence of the judicial branch.

“I’ve already got some great riffs on that issue worked out.”