Following rampant speculation on social media, former President Trump admitted today that he indeed was wearing his signature blue trousers back-to-front recently, though he declined to admit to any mistake. Instead he insisted that he was the one in the right.
“The way everyone has been wearing pants all these years is wrong. So wrong!”
He further maintained that the garment industry fully backs him on this crucial issue.
“Pants are supposed to zip at the back – just like a ladies’ dress. Ask anyone who makes pants!”
He roundly rejected any criticism of his stance, saying the so-called ‘experts’ on fashion don’t know what they are talking about.
“Nobody knows more about haberdashery than me. I’m the best judge of how to dress.”
In related news, House minority leader Kevin McCarthy was found on the floor of his office with his slacks around his ankles screaming “It’s not working! It’s not working!”