President Trump is to be given his military parade, with some of the U.S. Army’s heaviest and most important hardware already arriving in Washington D.C. A Pentagon spokesperson said it was their pleasure to grant the President’s wish.
“These fine American tanks will soon be on their way to see action in US military bases across the globe. But first they get to be reviewed by the Commander in Chief.”
The 6.5 tonne concrete tanks will be conveyed down the National Mall in a mighty show of force.
“The world will see that the United States cannot be beat when it comes to disposing of urine and fecal matter properly.”
The public will be allowed to inspect the tanks for themselves afterwards, though they are used not to use them.
“There are plenty of civilian portajohns for you to use instead, so let’s keep them nice and clean for those who serve.”