Pharma giant Pfizer said it would never wish for someone to go uncredited for their work and apologized to President Trump today for not properly acknowledging his role in the development of its RNA messenger COVID vaccine.

“We never realized you moonlighted as a research scientist in our labs while you were President. But we’ll get that credit right to you just as soon as you produce your lab notebooks showing how you successfully developed the genetic code necessary to make the immune system recognize the SARS-2 spike proteins.”

They also want to credit him for getting it done so fast when it would have taken at least five years or even a decade without him.

“Could you also send us the citation for the study saying that was the timeline were it not for you since we are obviously not nearly as proficient at searching PUBMED as you must be.”

While they say they will require the notebooks and study citation before they can back those claims, they are happy to give him credit for other COVID ideas where his intellectual contribution is beyond doubt.

“That bleach thing – it’s all yours.”