(NATO HQ) Representatives of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization apologized today after a huge mix-up in the delivery of advanced weaponry intended for the defense of Ukraine in the face of the ongoing Russian invasion there. They blamed an administrative error given that two distinct crises were ongoing at the same time.
“We simply got confused as they were occurring simultaneously – hence the delivery of heavy weaponry earmarked for Ukraine to Chris Rock instead.”
Though clearly an embarrassing blunder, they hope people will be understanding and not lose respect for the military alliance.
“In our defense both situations involved an unjustified violent attack by a larger opponent while the whole world was watching.”
The short-statured comedian was reported to have received a sizable arsenal at his home in New Jersey, including a mixed assortment of portable anti-tank missiles. NATO stressed it was profusely sorry for its mistake, and say Rock is welcome to keep everything he received as a deterrent against any further incursion by Smith into his personal space.
“Though the Javelins and NLAWS we sent you are designed to destroy battle tanks and other heavily armored military vehicles, we are confident they will be effective against Will Smith as well.”
Though busy training Ukrainian forces, NATO experts did take the time to give Rock a few quick pointers should he feel the need to deploy his newly-acquired shoulder fired missiles against the 6′ 2″ actor who slapped him.
“Just identify him in the sights and the system will do the rest. And don’t be worried if the missile appears to be going over his head – it’s designed to shoot down with a shaped charge from above.”